The arse-licker’s/ass-licker’s diary

Hi, I am an arselicker or ass-licker (as you might prefer to call me). I have no gender and am found in every department and all the sections of society.

Generally, you can spot me in work places where I am found in abundance. I am not very hard to spot though I don’t have much of a physical feature that you can attach me to.

But you can find me around the boss’ chamber or even to my immediate bosses. If you hear a squeaky, masturbating school girl like giggle, that’s me. I must be having a good time licking the balls of my boss in his cubicle (Reverse the gender and make it licking arse for female bosses).

Another way is to just sit and watch who goes to those cubicles how many times. If you see one particular person going to the same path again and again and again for some 35 times in a span of 7-9 hours, that has to be me.

What do I get from this? C’mon! You got to be kidding me… The pleasure is one of the perks apart from the curtain that covers all my inefficiency at work.

This licking makes me feel important and gives me a high that I can sing into my boss’ ears whatever I like or dislike about my colleagues.

Another perk is that I have insecure and aspiring ass-lickers roaming around me or, say, licking my arse to remain in boss’ good books. I can’t tell you how much fun that part is.

This act helps my boss remain updated about all his employees and I got to be the spy. People call it ‘bitching’ but then how many times in your life you get a chance to be the real life James Bond?

If someone calls it ‘bitching’ let them do so. Losers!!!

Who gets the ‘affection’ of the boss? To who does the boss come and joke with? To who does the boss go when he/she needs an opinion?

Me… me… and me…

I laugh at the idiots who keep working and doing ‘negative’ things at the workplace. I have a philosophy at workplace: pyaar do, pyaar lo…. (ek to kamsin jawani….)

I am the one who sits at least three hours extra in each shift so that the boss can see how dedicated I am. I make sure all ‘others’ do what they are supposed to do or I will start mailing boss about their mistakes. The screenshot function in Windows rocks!

So beware and be behind me, even if I look like a horrible whore* who you would not like even to spit upon, but you don’t have a choice honey!

*With due respect to the community whom I intend no damage. I know you people don’t want to be equated with them.


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