InSaneSung to launch Galaxy Cinema 1.9 and 2.1 metres

With the huge success of the Galaxy devices, which Samsung (also called InSaneSung©) has more than the universe itself, Samsung is set to launch another: Samsung Galaxy Cinema. It will launch in New York on April 30, 2013 in an expectedly packed auditorium with performances by third grade Hollywood actors as usual.

Recently, Samsung brought a revolution of sorts by bringing Galaxy devices ranging from 2.5 inches to the latest Galaxy with 5.8 and 6.1 inches and calls this innovative devices as phones.

It has been observed that these large screen devices have been loved and endorsed by a large section of market and it has imapacted the textile industry with jeans makers coming with pouch pockets.

InSaneSung has taken a leaf out of this apparent love and has created Galaxy Cinema which will be launched in two variants with screen sizes of 1.9 and 2.1 metres. Yes, you heard it right. It is in metres.

Some analyst from Wall Street are saying that Samsung has taken Apple ex-CEO late Steve Jobs words far more seriously than Apple itself. Jobs had said that people don’t know what they want and where there is no market, create one.

Samsung, apart from copying the look and feel of Apple devices, has moved on by copying even Apple’s driving philosophy.

The Galaxy Cinema devices will have a huge bendable screen which will serve many purposes apart from Galaxy Note’s work of hiding your face while talking.

It will be foldable and so you can carry it around easily. If you have four wheels you can convert the phone into a car which Samsung calls SCar. It will be a self driving car and you just have to sit inside.

At home you can put a mattress on it and sleep on it. If there is a call you don’t have to swipe or tap anywhere, the earpiece will shift to your ear and you can just start talking.

It is very intelligent with quadruple octa-core processors which knows what you intend to do and calculates everything at times before you even think. If you feel the sun is harsh (mind it, you just have to feel) the intelligent device will fold up as a large umbrella while charging itself as well if not attached with a generator.

It’s integration with GPS enables it to sense the weather and become a raincoat. If you are a plus size person you can order the 2.1 metre Galaxy Cinema.

The Galaxy Cinema 1.9 metre has an additional ability to double up as a bath tub as well. Analyst are wondering why the 2.1 doesn’t have this ability because Samsung enthusiast will go with the latter (as they love anything big) and miss this option sorely.

The gaming experience is awesome. The ductility and plasticity of the screen makes it very stretchable. If you feel like (just feeling will do, it is a smart phone) playing cricket or basketball, the phone opens up, dismantles itself with screen becoming the pitch, battery as wicket and other components as other sports equipments.

Cinema is the name so you can order the SAssistant to create the mood and hang itself on the wall. The SAssitant will do it. It will light up candles, call for company (male or female, as you wish) and set the mood. It has the ability to download any cinema even if it has not been released.

It is so smart that it knows what the director of a film is going to make by just knowing the name of the film and director. It gives you the director’s vision in cinema form with your choice of actors and story.

Apple as usual have said that people won’t like it and that they will stick with their one-hand operability even if they loose the market share.

Samsung CEO has said the Galaxy Cinema devices will be the dream device. Poor people can buy it and make a tent of it and live inside. Businessmen will be able to travel inside it hence doing away with the burden of having a car around. Middle class will love it as it can become an umbrella, a raincoat and a bed.

However, he confessed that not being able to make it an induction cooker will be a negative point. Poor people could have used this to do away with cylinder crisis in markets like India.

The main selling point will be the price which is lesser than the upcoming Apple iPhone 6 (or 5S). Apple has contended that people might not like the idea of a generator or 48-volt battery to power the device. But then, given the track record of Samsung admirers, saying anything might prove to be wrong.


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