The bullshit of motivational gurus and corporate trainers

The management of our college organised an FDP (Faculty Development Programme) by some guy whose CV had an A4 sheet full of various abbreviations, achievements etc. which is considered to be good in a normal conditioned society such as ours.

Let me tell you, I hate these kinds of motivational gurus, corporate trainers who somehow think the world needs their services to ‘feel better’ by their set pattern workshops/sessions.

This whole business of motivational gurus is fraud. And another fraud is the MBA guys who become HRs. I somehow despise them because all they have to do is to take care of you and they will make sure to make you write three mails, won’t give you your ID card for five months and so on.

Basically one fraud invites another fraud. This is a typical case of survival. I need to show there are ‘things’ happening in college. Let’s organise a programme about ‘Rediscovering self and others’ by someone whose whole idea is to speak words like performance, optimum, competence, ability, stress, emotions, management…

“Oh, this guy is something. He speaks words beyond my comprehensions but they sound good!”

The gentleman with all his made up accent, flawed English started with making us all feel insecure and assuring that he will make us overcome those to make us more efficient, happier and better after the day.

This is the typical procedure of these nutcases. They will ask you questions and will tell you that it was all ‘science’, ‘pure research’ and he is telling everything from his own experiences of teaching/motivating more than 40000 individuals across scores of organisations.

Write down one quality that will make you more effective, efficient and happy in life. People scribble: managing time, checking emotions, knowledge of English, controlling aggression bla bla bla… I write, ‘how to be politically correct?’

This all makes normal people vulnerable and insecure. They suddenly start saying yes to every questions that he diplomatically puts. He also tells that we are all academicians and learned individuals and that makes a good case for these people/trainees to not to defy him.

He cashes in on that. There is a fear inside all of us that oh I am a PhD how come I am not feeling what he is trying to make me feel.

For example he talked about checking our emotions and how to reduce worries and increase happiness in the following way:

Imagine a happy situation that you had. Now, are you seeing pictures of the event? Are they many? Is it colourful? Is it large? Is it away from you? Make it black and white now. Make it go 20 feet away. Now make the size as small as a phone screen. Now crush it. Are you feeling your worries are reduced?

The audience says yes! Why? Because science says so. And how can I, an academician, with so many years of experience can’t fell that? I definitely feel that. My worries are gone. I am a happier person.

This is art of bulshitting and taking good money for it. He talked for 8 hours with two tea and a lunch break and made us all people with less worries and more happiness.

The moment someone questions his quoted research he does a U turn. “When did I say this research was correct?” Why the hell did you write it on the paper then? The moment he feels being challenged, he comfortably says, “Oh please don’t get into argument. I will stop you there itself. Bla bla bla…”

And the end of the day the self assured man takes one word feedback from each of the 17 groups. It starts with people saying words like: enlightened, inspiring, enriching, satisfying… The sweet moment is going on and suddenly I stand up and say, “Mentally tiring, physically exhausting…”

And he is taken aback but he is a master at this. He says, “Being tired is good. You will get a good sleep. That means you are stress free.”

कबिरा इस संसार में भाँति भाँति के लोग…

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